Let’s talk about something a lot of us as men struggle with — too much time on our phones.
When I coach men and we talk about how to make time for what matters most, one challenge almost always comes up: scrolling. Whether it's social media, news, sports, email, or just texting — our phones can easily pull us away from the life we’re called to live.
And if we’re being honest, it’s way too easy to fall into.
Recently, I found myself sliding back into that cycle — constantly checking my phone, even when I didn’t have a good reason. Maybe you’ve felt that too.
So today, I want to share six practical strategies to help you (and me) use our phones as a helpful tool instead of letting them become a major distraction. This isn’t an exhaustive list, but these steps will help you start taking control again.
Every time you say “yes” to your phone, you’re saying “no” to something else.
You might not realize it in the moment, but phone time comes with a price — time with your family, time to pursue your calling, time to rest, time with God.
The average American man spends over 7 hours a day on screens. Even if you're only spending a few hours on your phone, ask yourself:
“What is this costing me?”
Could you be building something meaningful? Could you be present with your kids or spouse? Could you be praying, reading, resting, dreaming?
Clarity is the first step to change. If you want to break free from digital distraction, get clear on what it's costing you — your peace, your purpose, your potential.
Most of the time, scrolling isn’t random — it’s a response.
We reach for our phones because we’re avoiding something — a hard conversation, a stressful task, feelings of failure, or even deeper things like shame or fear.
Distraction is often a symptom of discomfort. Your brain tags your phone as “relief,” so every time stress shows up, the reflex is to escape.
Try this: next time you feel the urge to scroll, pause and ask:
“What am I trying to avoid right now?”
You might be surprised at the answer.
You could even keep a notebook nearby and jot down what triggered the urge. Over time, you’ll start to see patterns — and once you identify them, you can deal with them in a healthier way.
You can’t just remove distraction — you have to replace it with something better.
Make a list of your “recharging activities” — things that actually refresh your mind and body. It could be going on a walk, hitting the gym, reading a book, praying, calling a friend, or even stepping outside for a few minutes.
At work, instead of grabbing your phone when you're mentally drained, stand up and stretch, breathe, or grab some water. At home, instead of another scroll session, go toss a football with your son, hang out with your wife, or start that hobby you’ve been putting off.
Be proactive. Have your go-to activities ready before the urge hits.
Here’s the truth: if you don’t have a plan for your phone, your phone will have a plan for you.
Set clear, intentional rules for when and how you use your phone. For example:
No phone after 9 PM
No phone in bed
No phone until after time with God in the morning
Set app time limits
Take a phone sabbath (one evening a week with it off or in another room)
Being reactive doesn’t work. You need to set boundaries that protect what matters most to you.
Your environment shapes your behavior more than you realize.
If your phone is sitting on your desk, or constantly buzzing with notifications, you’re much more likely to pick it up.
Set yourself up to win:
Keep your phone out of sight when working or during meals.
Turn off non-essential notifications.
Move distracting apps into a folder or off the home screen.
Consider setting your screen to black and white to reduce visual appeal.
Design your space and your screen to support your goals — not sabotage them.
This one is simple but powerful: Don’t check your phone first thing in the morning.
Phones are built to deliver quick dopamine hits. If you start your day scrolling, you’re training your brain to chase shallow stimulation — not deep focus.
As soon as you check your phone, you’re in reactive mode. Emails, social media, and news drag your focus away from your priorities.
Instead, start your day with something that fuels your spirit:
Read Scripture
Pray
Journal
Exercise
Sit in silence
Reflect on your mission
The tone of your morning sets the tone for your day. Anchor it in purpose, not distraction.
Today, I want to talk about a specific issue I think a lot of us as men struggle with…and that is too much time on our phones!
When I’m working with men and we’re talking about making time for what matters the most, too much time scrolling is always one of the main things that comes up as a challenge.
It’s a problem that’s so easy to fall into if you are not careful and can have serious repercussions on your life.
Ask almost any guy what their biggest distraction is in life and he will probably tell you it’s his phone - too much time scrolling social media, looking at the news or sports articles, checking email, even just texting…these are all ways that your phone can distract you from what is most important if you are not careful.
Just recently, I feel like I’ve slid back into some phone addiction where I find myself constantly checking it throughout the day even if I don’t have a good reason too.
So I thought this would be a good training today to get you and me back on track where we use our phones as a helpful tool and not as a major distraction.
I’m going to give you 6 ways that you can fight against too much time on your phone. This is not an exhaustive list by any means and I would love to hear what has worked for you as well!
Alright let’s jump in.
This first one isn’t always that obvious and usually not the first place you probably start, but it is the most important.
Number 1, you have to identify what too much time on your phone is actually costing you.
Every time that you say “yes” to checking your phone or scrolling social media, you are ultimately saying “no” to something else. It’s important to actually think about what you are saying “no” too when you are on your phone.
The average man in America spends 7 hours a day on screens. That’s hard to comprehend. And that might not be you, but even if you are only spending a few hours on your phone, you must still ask yourself what that time is costing you.
Imagine if you had 7 more hours available in your day. How would you use that time? I doubt your first response is that you would spend it scrolling social media. You would probably say things like I would spend way more time with my loved ones…I would actually have time to do activities that I enjoy…I would spend it building that business or getting in good shape.
If that’s how you would spend your time, then think about how your phone is actually costing you that opportunity.
You’ll never break free from digital distraction if you don’t have a compelling reason to. Before jumping into all the different strategies I’m going to give you today, actually ask yourself:
What am I missing because of time on my phone?
Why does it matter to spend less time on my phone?
Clarity is the first step to change. Answering questions like these will give you compelling reasons to make the change.
Think about it at a deep level as well. In reality, if you are spending too much time on your phone, it could be costing you a lot.
Things like unfulfilled dreams. Wasted potential.
It could be costing you depth in your relationship with God and other people. It could be causing you stress and burnout. It could be zapping your confidence because you aren’t keeping the promises you make to yourself.
It could be leading you toward a life of regret because you aren’t taking action on what really matters to you.
When I stop and actually think about the high costs phone addiction has on my life, it helps me lock back into the deep why’s that I have in my life and gives me the clarity I need to stay focused on what matters most.
Before any other step, take time to think about the costs of digital distraction and then move on.
Ok, number 2, this is another one that you might not think about right away. Identify what it is that you are avoiding when you run to your phone.
Distraction usually doesn’t just happen by accident - it’s usually a symptom of something deeper. More often than not, you are turning to distraction to avoid some sort of discomfort or stress.
Distractions meet a need, that is why they are powerful and why they can be highly addictive. If you’ve ever felt stressed out and got a quick relief of that stress by scrolling on your phone, your brain will remember that.
It tags the distraction as a good solution to your stress. So next time you feel stressed, you will turn to that distraction again as an escape.
You can try to overcome your bad phone habits with willpower, but that isn’t going to be an effective strategy if you have underlying stress in your life that is not being dealt with.
So the next time you catch yourself reaching for your phone, or mindlessly scrolling, ask yourself “What am I trying to avoid right now?”
It could be something as simple as that project at work you don’t want to do, or that phone call you are afraid to make, or it could be way deeper and be something like your fear of failure or feelings of inadequacy.
I will dive into those in another episode, but until you start to identify and deal with the things that you are running from, you are going to find yourself distracted. If it’s not your phone, then it will be something else.
One simple thing you can do is keep a notebook by your desk as you work. When you feel the urge to grab your phone, stop and identify what it is you were doing that made you want to reach for your phone. Then write down the cause in the notebook. Keep a list of the activities or circumstances at work that make you want to escape. Once you have the identified, you can start to work on finding better solutions.
The third tool for overcoming too much time on your phone goes hand-in-hand with number 2.
Make a list of more healthy alternatives and ways to spend your time. Breaking free from digital distraction isn’t just about cutting things out - it’s about replacing them with something better
If most phone overuse happens when you’re stressed, mentally drained, or even just bored, you need to identify healthy alternative things to do instead of continuing to turn to your phone every time.
Take a few minutes to make a list of your “recharging activities” - things that you can do, whether large or small, that give you a boost of energy, rest, and focus.
When you feel yourself slipping into distraction, you can choose to do something from that list instead.
For example, at work when you are feeling the urge to grab your phone, you could instead stand up and go get a drink of water. Or stand up and stretch, say a quick prayer, go on a short walk, or anything along those lines that will refresh you and don’t have the power to suck you in for long periods of time.
When you are at home and find yourself turning to your phone over and over, have a list of some other activities that you enjoy doing that you could go do instead - things like going to the gym, going on a walk outside, reading a book, hanging out with your friends, giving someone a call, fishing, golfing…whatever it is that you enjoy doing.
I find it helpful to actually make a list of those activities ahead of time. Be proactive. Instead of spending a night sitting on the couch scrolling your phone, pick one of those activities.
The best way to break a bad habit is to replace it with a better one. Willpower alone is not a good strategy - you need a proactive plan. Identify what fills you up and be ready to reach for it when you feel the need to be on your phone.
Number 4, actually create rules for your phone. So much of your phone addiction happens because you are not being proactive enough - you haven’t put any thought into how you actually want to use your phone.
Like I just said before, willpower isn’t a good strategy. Leaving it completely up to chance isn’t a good strategy.
There’s a big difference between being proactive and reactive with your phone.
Proactive means you have actually taken time and put intentional thought and effort into defining what you want your relationship with your phone to be. How will you use it? Why will you use it? When will you use it? What boundaries will you put in place?
When you’re reactive, you will just let your mood, your energy levels, your stress, your circumstances, the requests of others dictate when and how you use your phone - again it’s not an effective strategy.
Remember step 1, all the time on your phone is costing you something - your dreams, your relationships, your productivity - if those things are truly important to you, then you should create rules around your phone to make sure it’s not costing you those things.
Have you taken the time to set intentional rules for your phone?
If not, this is something you should do right away. Anticipate the distractions and the challenges ahead of time and come up with a plan.
That could be rules like:
Think about the times where your phone typically is a big distraction for you, and come up with an intentionally strategy to deal with that.
Designate specific times during the day where you are allowed to check your phone. It’s not that everything on your phone is bad, it’s just bad when you are turning to it when you don’t want to or when it’s costing you something important.
Alright strategy number 5, is to design your environment for success
Your environment shapes your focus. If your phone is always within reach, it’s much harder to avoid checking it.
Think through the different environments you find yourself in and think about what you want to do with your phone.
When you are at work, do you want your phone at your desk? Or would it be better for it to be in a drawer, out of reach and out of sight?
When you are at the dinner table or out with friends, do you want it just sitting on the table on front of you.
I know for me, if I see or hear a notification on my phone - it’s almost impossible not to check it. And even if I don’t check it, I’m usually thinking about how bad I want to check it and that’s distracting as well. If I want to give someone my full attention, it’s best to keep somewhere that is out of sight.
Another part of designing your environment is actually designing your phone itself. The first piece of that are notifications - do you have notifications going off all day long? If so, that might be a huge source of distraction. It’s worth taking time to think through which notifications are actually serving you and which ones are distracting you.
Next part would be the actual placement of your apps. Have you designed your phone screen to be less distracting? You could do something like moving the time sucking apps into a folder and having the more productive apps upfront. You could set your screen to be black and white so it’s not as visually attractive.
Again, the main point is that you are being proactive instead of reactive with your phone. Be intentional in the way that you use. Design your phone and your different environments to set you up for success instead of failure.
The 6th and final strategy is a simple but powerful one that I felt was really worth mentioning. I would highly recommend not checking your phone as the first thing that you do in the morning.
It’s really easy to turn off the alarm and then go straight into scrolling your phone.
Phones are engineered to deliver quick dopamine hits. Starting your day with that instant stimulation makes it harder to focus on deeper, more meaningful tasks later. You’re training your brain to crave distraction.
If you want a focused day, then you should start with a focused morning. What you set your mind on in the morning usually carries over throughout the day.
As soon as you check your phone, you’re reacting, not leading. Notifications, emails, social media, and news pull you into other people’s agendas before you've even anchored your own.
Social media can kick off the comparison game right away
The news can put you in a state of worry.
Email can add stress to your morning if you are worrying about work instantly.
Start your day with something that is going to put your heart and your mind in the right place. That’s why I highly recommend starting with God first thing in the morning. If what you focus on in the morning set’s the tone for your day, I want to focus on what I say is the most important thing in my life.
I want to start my morning spending time with a God who gives peace, comfort, and strength. I want to get my eyes fixed on his purposes and building his kingdom instead of my own.
There is a pretty massive difference in my focus and energy the days that I start with my phone versus the days I start in the Word.
Think about the first thing you’re doing in the morning, is it setting you up for success or for distraction? This could be a simple step you can take that would have a profound effect on your life.
To recap the 6 strategies:
I hope this was helpful! These are strategies that I have been implementing recently to help me overcome my own phone addiction and they have been making a huge difference.
If you found this helpful, please share it with someone else that might benefit from it. Also, I would love to hear some of your other strategies so comment back with what’s worked best for you!
As always, thank you for joining me today! I am grateful for you. I believe in you. You were made to do something great, because God made you and he doesn’t make mistakes.
Go live a life you are proud of by living intentionally!
