Summary

In every meaningful pursuit in your life, there will come a pivotal moment where you will have to decide if you are going to give up or if you are going to keep going. What you do in that moment will ultimately define the story of your life. There are two different types of people in these situations:

1. The People who ask "should I?"

The people who usually turn back take a “I’m not sure about this” attitude to the situation. They ask themselves the question, “Should I?”

  • “Should I keep going?”
  • “Should I keep trying?”
  • “Should I just do something else?”
  • “Should I quit?”

They feel the uncomfortable situation. They run into some obstacles. And they want to get out of that uncomfortable situation and so they ask themselves the “Should I?” question…and what typically happens is you end up quitting right before the moment you breakthrough.

2. The People who ask "how can i?"

People who are fully committed, take a different approach. They ask themselves a different question. Instead of asking “Should I?” they ask themselves, “How can I?”

  • “How can I keep going?”
  • “How can I find a different solution to this problem?”
  • "How can I get better?"
  • "How can I invest more in this relationship?"
  • "How do I make this business succeed?"

When you start to ask yourself “How” instead of “Should” you engage your creativity and you will start to find solutions that you didn’t know where there. You will also make the critical decision to keep going when you hit that pivotal moment. The life that you dream of is on the other side of the commitment.

Are you going to be a man who comes to that pivotal moment and gives up? Or are you going to be a man who pushes through? Your greatest breakthroughs in life are usually just beyond that pivotal moment.

Transcript

One of my favorite movies growing up was the Sandlot. I’m sure most of you have seen this movie, if not you should go watch it. In the movie, there is a group of kids who play baseball regularly at this one field in their neighborhood. 

The field backs up to an old man’s house, and in the backyard there is a giant dog that the kids call “The Beast”. They made up stories about the “Legend of the Beast” and how he would kill anyone that came near him. The character “Squints” goes on a full rant on the history of the beast and how he has killed over 170 guys. 

I’m sure if you have seen the movie you can picture the rant. 

They built the beast up to be something that would kill anyone who went in the backyard. The problem was, anytime they hit a home run on that field, the ball would go in the backyard. So they just let it go and got a new baseball.

But then they end up using a baseball that is signed by Babe Ruth. When they hit a home run into the Beast’s backyard and then realize the ball was signed by Babe Ruth, they spend the rest of the movie trying to figure out how to get in the backyard to get the ball back without being killed by the beast.

Where as before when they hit a home run, they would just let it go and not risk their lives to get the ball back, everything changed when the ball was valuable enough to them that they had to do anything and everything to get the ball back. 

At that point, there were no other options to them besides going in the backyard and finding the baseball. 

It’s a funny movie and has some great moments throughout, but I do think there is a lesson to be taken from this movie when it comes to: commitment

One of the major issues plaguing a lot of men today is the issue of commitment. 

I have heard from numerous men that I have worked with that this is something they struggle with. I have had women ask me why men seem to have so much trouble committing to things. I have seen the lack of commitment play out in my life in different ways. 

In our world that is so focused on immediate gratification and comfort, the issue of commitment, I believe, is becoming a larger and larger issue. 

In the movie, the kids were not at all committed to ever jumping over that fence to get a ball when it was just a normal baseball. But when it a baseball that had a lot of value, they became 100% committed to getting over that fence to get the ball at all costs. 

In his book, Take The Stairs, Rory Vaden introduces this exact principle. He talks about the commitment continuum. 

In all the meaningful things we do in life, there comes a moment of decision where you are either all in our all out. 

When you first decide to pursue a dream, or a relationship, or make a meaningful change in your life, there is the initial excitement. You feel a boost of motivation and inspiration. You are excited to get started and make that meaningful change.

But then what happens, you are faced with the work. You are faced with obstacles and roadblocks to that change you want to make.

That initial excitement is met with some pain and discomfort. The first fight that you have in your relationship. The first second week of trying to go to the gym where all you want to do is stay in bed. The moment starting your business where your first plan fails or you don’t know exactly what to do. 

You are met with opposition and it takes a lot of emotional and physical energy to keep going. 

Can you think of areas in your life where this has been the case? How did you respond in those moments? What was your attitude?

How you handle these moments in your life will be the difference between pursuing your dreams and living a life you are truly proud of, or if you will live a life that is full of missed opportunities and regrets. 

And these moments come down to your commitment. Are you fully committed or not?

And how you handle these moments comes down to your attitude in these pivot points, these defining moments when things are getting more and more difficult and they reach a climax. Will you give up, or will you keep going?

The people who usually turn back take a “I’m not sure about this” attitude to the situation. They ask themselves the question, “Should I?” 

“Should I keep going?” “Should I keep trying?” “Should I just do something else?” “Should I quit?”

They feel the uncomfortable situation. They run into some obstacles. And they want to get out of that uncomfortable situation and so they ask themselves the “Should I?” question…and what typically happens is you end up quitting right before the moment you breakthrough.

You must understand that anything that is worthwhile in your life will follow this exact some process. You will start out motivated, and then you will run into obstacles, those obstacles will mount until you reach a pivotal point. And in that point, will you persevere, or will you quit and then go look for the next opportunity.

These are the people who always assume the grass is greener on the other side. Or who think it just wasn’t the right time, or the right circumstance, or they weren’t motivated enough and blame the situation instead of looking at their attitude and their commitment level. 

If you quit at this point and blame it on the circumstance, you will move to the next activity and the process will start again, and then you will start to hit obstacles and challenges, reach that breaking point again, and then assume again, the circumstance is wrong and you will look for something else. 

If you are not fully committed, this is the cycle you will continue to run in to. 

People who are fully committed, take a different approach. They ask themselves a different question. Instead of asking “Should I?” they ask themselves, “How can I?” 

“How can I keep going?” “How can I find a different solution to this problem?” How can I get better? How can I invest more in this relationship? How can I make this marriage better? How do I make this business succeed?

When you start to ask yourself “How” instead of “Should” you are engage your creativity and you will start to find solution that you didn’t know where there. 

You will also make the critical decision to keep going when you hit that pivotal moment. 

The longer you ask “should I?” instead of “How can I?” the longer you will be waiting and waiting and the more likely that you will never actually do it. 

So think about your dream right now? Think about your goals? Think about your most important relationships? How committed are you? Are you asking yourself “Should I?” or are you asking yourself “How can I?” 

Are you giving yourself excuses and conditions for quitting? Or are you only focused on finding the solution and persevering no matter what?

The fulfillment of your dreams is on the other side of commitment? That relationship with God that you have always wanted is on the other side of commitment? That business you have been working on, will not succeed until you change your question from “Should I?” to “How Can I?”

Obviously, there are things in life that you don’t have to be 100% committed to and there are times when you should change your course. You understand what those situations are.

What are the core commitments in your life? It is important to establish what these are in your life? Think about the things in your life that you want to be fully, 100% committed to. In those areas, are you giving yourself an out? Do you find yourself making excuses? Do you find yourself asking “Should I?”

In his book, Today Matters, John Maxwell says that successful people make healthy decisions (or commitments) early in life and then manage them on a daily basis. 

Choose today that you are going to be a man that follows Jesus no matter what the cost. And then ask yourself “How will I do this?” If you have conditions to that commitment you are giving yourself in out. Do you have conditions in your relationship with God?

That could look something like, I will follow Jesus as long as it doesn't compete with my plans? I will follow Jesus as long as I feel him close to me. I will follow Jesus as long as it is the popular thing to do.

When you really dig deep, you might find some of those conditions. If you are truly committed, you will say I will follow Jesus no matter what circumstance, no matter how I feel, no matter if it’s popular, and not matter what it costs me. The question is not “Should I follow him?” the question is “How can I grow in my relationship with him?” 

Are you 100% committed to investing in your health? Or do you have conditions attached? That would look something like, I will work out as long as I feel like it. As long as I am seeing immediate results. As long as the people around me are doing it. 

I will train for the marathon as long as I feel motivated to do. As long as I don’t hit any roadblocks. I will run as long as it is sunny outside.

Do you see how we make these conditions in our livees? And then we run into obstacles we ask ourselves if we should keep going instead of how will I keep going.

Choose today that you are going to be a health person, no excuses, and then manage it daily. Not perfection, but commitment to keep improving.

Choose today that you are all in as a follower of Jesus, and then manage it daily.

Choose today that you are all in on pursuing your dreams, and then manage it daily.

Choose today that you are all in on your marriage, that you will not have an out in the back of your mind. And that you will continuously ask yourself “How can I invest in this relationship?” How can I be a better husband?”

The life that you dream of is on the other side of the commitment. Are you going to be a man who comes to that pivotal moment and gives up? Or are you going to be a man who pushes through. 

Your greatest breakthroughs in life are usually just beyond that pivotal moment. 

So my encouragement to you today would be to make those core commitments in your life. What are the few things in your life that you want to be 100% committed to. Identify them and then manage them daily. Identify them and change your question from “Should I” to “How can I” and then do it daily.

I believe in you! I am for you and I am proud of you for your commitment to growing as a man and pursuing a life of significance. I hope today was encouraging and inspiring. 

If you found this training to be helpful, I would encourage you to share it with one person that you think could also benefit from it. Share it with a friend and encourage each other to stick to your commitments together.

Thank you for joining. Now go live a life you are proud of by living intentionally. 

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